Loyalty Ch.13

Mirror Image
"Aww, be quiet. It's a good thing, alright." Now, Dib was just getting frustrated with his own body and how easily it betrayed him. "It's just…well, humans sometimes get emotional and I'm human and uh," was that his voice that sounded so…weird and gruff? "happy tears okay?"
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Could they do this "friendship" thing? Was that even possible? Would this affect the "kissing" thing they did? Zim didn't know what questions to ask first, or if he would understand if he even asked.

But still, he had to admit that it was nice to be close to the human and not being fighting him. Having those amber eyes so close to him…
He watched as those amber eyes pushed a single tear down the human's warm cheek.
He thought Dib was happy? Why was he leaking?

"Why are you leaking, Dib-stink? Zim has accepted you as an equal; you should feel honored."

Maybe once upon a time, Dib might've had difficulties figuring out what Zim meant but, years of experience and that fact that he felt the stupid…tear drop its way down his cheek well…it wasn't that hard to figure out. He shook his head, their foreheads rubbing together; black hair intertwining with two antenna. It was strangely intimate and weird and Dib liked it.

"'M not leaking, Space-Boy. I'm crying…" With an annoyed hand, Dib rubbed at his betraying eyes, blinking a few times to get himself under control. How embarrassing. "I'm fine. Just being human, eh? No big deal." But it was. Horribly so. This entire thing was too much for the emotionally stunted teenager who was used to being numb.

And in one day he'd experienced depression, disbelief, hormonal urges, desire, laughter, anger and now he was about as happy as he'd ever felt before. It was overwhelming, making him slightly hysterical. Another warm drop spilled past despite his best efforts. A hand dashed that one away too, quickly before Zim could see and think him weak.

Zim's antennae twitched at the feel of Dib's hair against them; the scent of the human's shampoo was strong, along with the night air that lingered from their walk home. The strands stuck to his stalks magnetically as they retained some discharge from the shock administered by Zim's PAK.  He found this annoying, but decided to ignore it due to the circumstances.

Crying, he said? According to Zim's research (and experience) people only cried when they were upset, so why was Dib crying? Hadn't Zim made the human's life marginally better by accepting his truce and thus putting a stop to, what was sure to be, a humiliating defeat for Dib?

Zim's eyes narrowed as he inspected Dib's face as more reluctant tears were swiped away.
"Well, then, why are you crying? I thought me not hating you was a good thing?" Zim asked cautiously. How could it be a bad thing, honestly?

"Aww, be quiet. It's a good thing, alright." Now, Dib was just getting frustrated with his own body and how easily it betrayed him. "It's just…well, humans sometimes get emotional and I'm human and uh," was that his voice that sounded so…weird and gruff? "happy tears okay?"

Another pitiful sounding sniffle followed before Dib finally got the guts to put his hands down to look back down at Zim who looked deeply perplexed about the whole thing which honestly, the human couldn't blame him. He, himself, was confused.

"I'm happy because you, oh-so-mighty Zim have blessed me with your friendship." It was supposed to be sarcastic but, sounded pretty god damn serious coming from a tear choked voice. "And I'm—I've never…no ones ever—"

Why was this so hard? Decidedly, he pushed away from the irken and sat back down on his bed which had seen a lot tonight, burying his head in his hands, and forcing himself to concentrate on stomping down the bizarre emotional episode Dib was currently suffering. The bands around his chest and throat only tightened when his forehead still felt warm from Zim's.

Happy tears? That was…a thing?

Zim stared at Dib, confused, as he sat down on his bed. He had never seen Dib so pathetic looking, and yet he didn't feel as disgusted as he might have a few weeks ago. He could only think of how he, himself, might've looked doubled over in the library, sobbing grossly.

How would Dib have reacted upon seeing that? Would he have laughed then? Or was he this kind, much gentler Dib he knew today, even then? The idea was a bit surprising; was Dib always like this, and Zim just failed to see it?

Zim stood silent for a bit, fiddling with his fingers, which seemed to be shaking slightly, as he tried to figure out what to do.

He found himself sympathizing with the human; he knew how difficult the situation was, and he was just realizing that it must've been difficult for Dib, as well.
He walked over, slowly, and after a moment of hesitation, gently placed a clawed hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Stop your sniffling, Dib-sti-…er...human…" It was meant as a command, but was surprised at how gentle it sounded.

Dib's throat only closed up more when he heard the alien shuffle towards him. "God damn it." With gritted teeth, he forced himself to look up just in time to watch as his old nemesis, the one who he'd hated and fought and kissed and now had made what seemed to be a truce with, placed his claws on Dib's shoulder. It was followed by a command. Only the command was kind. Gentle.

And it broke him. The damn burst, the full on flood of emotions spilling into his lap. Zim's touch was the catalyst that caused hot, salty tears to come pouring down the pale teen's face. But, the worst and potentially humiliating thing was the sounds; harsh, choked noises tore themselves from Dib's throat. Oxygen was hard to find and the internal plea to make it all stop came from his lungs.

Ashamed, overjoyed, broken and fixed, Dib curled himself into a ball and let himself do the one thing he hadn't done since he was a child, ever since he'd thought monsters lived inside the closest; sob.

Zim was surprised and stood motionless as he watched his nemesis break down, watching the boy shake and sob below him. Zim didn't understand fully why the human was sobbing, but he decided that now was the wrong time to be asking; he probably wouldn't even get a coherent answer.

Once again, Zim found himself looking at a mirror image of himself in that musty library, and although he wanted to be angry with Dib for putting him in this awkward position, he found himself feeling sympathy and…some other emotion that gripped him.

A strange emotion that seemed to grow stronger with each sob and painful gasp that tore its way out of the human, sending a painful sensation to Zim's chest and making his PAK let out that annoying and familiar hum.

He wanted Dib to stop crying, he could no longer stand to hear him in so much pain, or to see that twisted expression on his face.

Awkwardly, the alien sat on the bed next to Dib, saying nothing as he did so. He wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders, pulling him close. He leaned his head close to the human's and let his antennae softly entangle themselves in Dib's hair.

Zim had never tried to console anybody before, so he didn't exactly know how to go about it, so he could only sit there and hope that he was helping. Even in a small way.

The human's air hitched itself in the back of his tight throat, the second he felt Zim curl around him. The irken's warmth, his embrace and the soft brushes of antenna through his hair sent shivers of some foreign emotion through him. Another one to deal with among the onslaught but, this one…he didn't mind trying to untangle himself. In fact, Dib let it go, not bothering to analyze or think.

Instead, the teenager turned his head into the crook of Zim's neck, biting down on his bottom lip to stop the majority of the loud sobs. The alien smelt like heated sugar. Kettle corn, milk shakes, sunshine. It was soothing in a way that he'd had no idea something could be.

Eventually, the violent shudders that racked his thin frame calmed to slight quivers and the horrible sobbing was all but hiccups. A film of cotton hung itself over Dib's mind, blocking him from being angry just yet.

Nearly ten years had passed since he'd let himself cry and now that he had…it would take a bit to recover. Which was fine, because Dib was recovering in the arms of someone who cared. Dib was in the arms of a friend that could maybe be more one day. Such fanciful thoughts seemed possible right now.

So, Dib, lover of logic, just let himself believe them. For now.