Loyalty Ch.25

Realization
His sister's shrill voice cut through his panic attack. "Dib!  Get your alien-loving ass out here! I made dinner and you better eat it."
--

The sun was hanging on the edge of the horizon, its rosy fingers receding into the night and shrouding over the messy apartment of Evette. She hardly seemed to notice, though, as she sat on her couch with her legs pressed against her chest. Her eyes were tired looking, with heavy bags resting under them. They fixated themselves onto the many papers that were displayed on the rickety coffee table, rather hastily.

The air in the room was stagnant, and seemed to move with her as Evette inched herself closer to the papers, her cheap skirt creaking as the fabric stretched. Her pale lips parted slightly as she reached out and snatched a paper up, crinkling it in her bony fingers. Her lips twitched into a growl as she stared at it, at the hastily drawn figure.

The round eyes, the sharp teeth, and bug-like antennae. This figure that had been haunting her dreams and waking thoughts since the moment it barged into her office. Since she woke to the sight of it and that…wretched boy on her couch.

That boy…..that boy who had been right all along. Right about everything, and she tried to convince him it was all in his head. But now that she knew about it, about it and that boy, things were different. She hadn't been able to leave her apartment since then—she was out of sick days. She had been sitting, brewing in her thoughts of that monster.

Her eyes followed the several sketches of that monster that she had laid out before her, each one growing farther from Zim's likeness and twisting into a truly frightening beast.
She couldn't let this thing be running around on earth, and she was positive that boy would be on its side.

Of course, they were fucking after all, weren't they? She saw it.
She balled the paper up in her hands, her chipped nail polish contrasting the destroyed paper as she clenched it in her fist.

She was going to have to take care of this herself.

**

Almost three days passed before Dib could force himself from his room. And that was only to sneak more snacks.  He'd been laying on his bed, prone and pathetic ever since he'd returned home. And all that time images of what he'd done stewed in his mind, replaying themselves over and over again.

Zim who used to be his greatest enemy and then his reluctant friend and now…this. What had he done? What had changed? And how so quickly? They'd had sex in his voot cruiser and the thoughts that kept coming back, of Zim's eyes and how they darkened when he moaned. His skin, how soft it was under his gloves and his tunic. It fairly glistened against the rays of their sun and the earth's reflection.

There were the noises he'd made; whimpers and shouts. And Zim had cried. That was something he couldn't comprehend. Of course he'd seen it before…those few times. But, those had been because of sadness. He hadn't thought the Irken could cry.

But, when those tears had rolled down his cheek they had been accompanied by begging, pants for more and Dib felt in his gut that they weren't from sadness or pain.

He groaned and tugged a pillow over his head as the images kept bombarding him. Three days and not once had the pain in his chest eased. In fact, it had seemed to worsen. All around him the picture of Zim, of his crappy sketches and stalker photos, notes scribbled and even an old scrap of the alien's tunic all pinned to his wall, haunting him.

He was obsessed, had always been obsessed. This he'd known. But, the extent was only just starting to make itself known. A minute couldn't go by without him thinking of Zim. And Dib's dreams were composed of green skin and giant ruby eyes.  

There was no escaping the irken.

Dib punched his pillow, fighting back tears. What was wrong with him? Somehow this felt like it had been coming to a peak for a long, long time. As if this was unavoidable. But, what was it? Why did mischievous smiles and laughter that used to be manic now turned humorous make him shudder?

What was so great about naïve comments, feet that hardly reached the floor when he sat down, that tiny line on his forehead when he thought too hard? And…destructive habits, sharp and soft claws, puzzled looks…neat freakiness…determined fucking bastard…and…the way he'd held Dib afterwards…stroking his hair, just being with him…

Dib was hyperventilating, hands to his temples…His sister's shrill voice cut through his panic attack. "Dib!  Get your alien-loving ass out here! I made dinner and you better eat it."  He rolled his eyes, relieved for the moment.

"Okay Gaz, I'll be right ther---" Dib's voice trailed off as he slowly began to…realize.
"Oh fuck." He jumped up from his bed, hands curling into his hair as he stormed over to the picture of Zim on the other side of his room. "I…no, that can't be right. Right?"

But what else could it be. It all began to make sense and fall into place, and yet the entire world seemed to be falling apart. A block castle knocked to the ground by carless hands. His heart kicked up double time and he sank to his knees, suddenly breathless.

"I love Zim."

And that was that.